Note to Self: Life is What You Make It

I had a personal epiphany after reading this:

(seriously, you should read it because it may change your life, too!)

“I can’t help but think that rather than having a purpose, we simply have purpose.” – Adreanna Limbach

In the years since graduating college, I – like every other American – was on the quest to find that “dream job.” I didn’t know what my dream job looked like and I didn’t really know what I wanted out of a career, I just knew: dream job=success. And I sort of assumed I’d figure it out when I found it (and by “it” I mean everything. The secret to life, I guess. My purpose).

This concept followed me up until three days ago when my best friend shared with me the aforementioned article.

“You will love this,” she said.

Like always, she was right. And something clicked.

Holy shit. I am not living at all. I’m just going through the motions of life. I’m getting a paycheck. I’m sitting/sleeping in house. I’m not getting value out of anything I’m doing.

My day-to-day (when my husband is gone for work) usually includes: finally waking up and rushing through my morning routine because I hit snooze for an hour. Then, I go to work, cross things off my to-do list, come home from work, maybe go to yoga once a week, eat dinner, usually always watch Netflix, maybe catch up on my DVR recordings, very occasionally work on a house project (only because James gives me a honey-do list during his two weeks away) and then bed.

And repeat.

How boring is that?! How totally unfulfilling?! No wonder I have more bad days than good days; no wonder I’ve felt so disconnected from my career, my goals, from myself!

My New Year’s resolution was to live with more purpose, and I’ve done a terrible job sticking to it. I’ve allowed myself to get in a rut, and only I can get myself out.

I’m making a commitment to take back control of my life.

I should be learning something new each day. I should start my day early so I don’t have to rush. I should wake up every morning with a grateful heart and positive, new outlook. I should play fetch outside with my pup now that it’s getting warmer. I should write more. I should call friends on the weekends instead of going on a Netflix bender. I should just watch less Netflix. I should do a Pinterest project (or two). I should laugh more. I should allow myself to be imperfect. I should do some volunteer work. I should start my own batch of homemade wine. I should decorate my house for the holidays and seasons. I should try to be more confident and less indecisive. I should finish my first knitting project and actually start on the next one.  I should read more. I should visit my mom more often. I should call my dad more often. I should do yoga every day. I should have fun. I should work my ass off every day to better myself as a professional and a human being. I should dance again. I should stop being so damn critical of myself. I should make my own opportunities and not wait for them to happen. I should believe in myself again.

Strike all those “shoulds.” I can and I will.